There Goes Johnny.......

So, what exactly is a "bad ass". It is an important question, for in the context that most American men understand the term, there is nothing we would rather be known as. When we hear it applied to some other fellow we immediately want to know what he has done to earn such a distinction and, if it be within our grasp, a great deal of our attention is devoted to looking for opportunities to qualify for the same attribution. As men, we yearn for few things more than knowledge of other men pointing to us as if to say, "there goes Johnny, what a 'bad a-ss'".

A rare few among us even succeed at attaining that most cherished of all characterizations, that of "TOTAL bad ass", and among those who understand themselves to be regarded as mere "bad asses", their efforts to add this "TOTAL" to their equation can be an all-consuming engagement. To breathe the "rare air" of those who have traveled with the knowledge that they be pointed out by friends, acquaintances, and even casual onlookers as a "TOTAL bad ass" is for many men as good a definition as you will find for their life's pursuit. The search for such an attribution is at the foundation of many a man's quest for high office, his own plane, a fancy vacation house, etc., and all too often a hot young babe other than his wife to carry along on said plane and to shack with in said house. And the most wonderful thing about this combination of "achievements" is the time they provide this fella, with his hot babe, on his private jet, on the way to his fancy house, to experience the actual feeling of being a "bad ass", perhaps even "totally".

Now the question. If you were to travel to and discover a "Heavenly" planet, one on which there was no suffering, social harmony seemed the norm, all children were fed and clothed and schooled, etc., what would be the first thing you would be looking to figure out? Actually, this would be among your first inquiries irrespective of the planet's condition. For the majority of human males, at least those for whom "bad assness" be within reach, the first things they would want to know is where and who the "bad asses" are. "Who do I take my cues from?", is the big question. Once answered, all further engagements with the people of the planet will be guided by attempts to determine what it takes to join the ranks of the planet's "bad a-sses" and then to pursue such ranks and company with all deliberate speed. Assuming you were indeed to stumble on a "Heavenly" planet, however, you would be disappointed to have your inquiries into the identies of the realm's "bad a-sses" met with looks of utter perplexity. "Whatever are you referring to?", these heavenly beings might say, "we have no such creatures here."

Now, and here is where the big question exists relative to man's real opportunities to spread seed in the proverbial cosmos. Assume that you and a few of your "wanna-be bad ass" friends, in your current states, were granted the opportunity to inhabit this heavenly realm. What do you think the first thing you would go about doing, perhaps even unconsciously. Would you bask in the heavenly glow of the experience of a real, beloved community? Uhhhhh, no.

Not even realizing what you were doing, you would set out to change the planet's systems to make room for positions and provisions of rewards that enable the introduction of "bad asses". Similarly, you would create games for the same purpose, to enable the ascendency of your "bad ass" selves in order to experience the highs that arise from the perverse satisafctions of the illuson of superiority. Furthermore, you would tweek the systems and the rules of the games to ensure yourselves advantages relative to opportunities to breathe the "rare air" of that planet. After all this, however, despite your successes at changing the rules of the planet's game, your "achievement" would not be complete. It would not be complete until the young inhabitants of the planet are pointing at you and the newly created "bad asses" from their own species saying, "there go Johnny and the bad asses", all the while thinking to themselves, "and I want to be one too."

Now, getting back to the description of the prevailing conditions that qualified this planet as "heavenly", and assuming Johnny and the boys have gotten control of the reigns, how many generations do you think it will take before things go "all to hell".